“I’d love to get away from it all….”
Have you ever imagined just taking off, maybe to a beach or mountain retreat, to be free of the business of daily life? Recently I had the opportunity to do just that. I spent time in a quiet beachside bungalow near the Equator, where I had time alone every day. No television or radio, very limited phone and internet, and only a few, simple chores to do. Time to relax, read, rest….just be, with no one looking for me. Total relaxation. Only, it was often quite stressful…..
Encountering Ourselves
When finally having a chance to experience the dream of total relaxation for an extended period of time, I discovered that it wasn’t what I’d imagined. Sure, I had some glorious moments of rest and relaxation, lying in the hammock, swimming in the sea, and dropping in to the resort next door for long, unhurried yoga classes. But, I found that, after engaging in my fill of relaxing activities, there was still more time.
This unaccustomed luxury startled me. Time and energy, the things I never have enough of, were suddenly over-abundant, and I didn’t know how to handle them. Should I go for a walk, write in my journal….make a call? In this unique time and place I realized that thinking about what I “should do” to structure my time would totally miss the point of being there.
I could see that there was something to be embraced in the emptiness of doing nothing, but I could also feel a real resistance to going there. Because beyond the initial joy and beauty of resting, reading, and moving at my leisure, I discovered a sort of restlessness within me. It took a bit of time to recognize my experience. Was I bored? No…Disappointed? Perhaps. Sad? Maybe….
Ultimately what I discovered in the free time was my true self. Someone I didn’t realize I had lost touch with. An old and dear friend whom I had only been checking in with of late, without really making time to sit down and connect deeply. And, as when catching up with any good friend, it turned out there was a lot to say, a rich range of feelings and experiences to share.
Being versus Doing
At home, I am often working, or cooking, tending to others, or going out for an event, and the rest of the time, the “in-between” moments, I am preparing for the doing, the next event. Squeezing in phone calls, emails, and a load of laundry as I can, moving from one task to the next.
But there in that bungalow, for hours at a time, there was no doing, only being. And I was reminded powerfully that it is only in those moments of being that we can truly connect with our feelings, process our recent experiences, and see how near or far we are from the course we’ve intended to follow. It is in quiet, mindful moments of being that we have the opportunity to process the range of powerful emotions we’ve been having, to recognize what makes us happy, brings us joy or grief, and where our dreams are.
So does taking time to “be” require disappearing to a remote bungalow in South America? I don’t think so. Having that experience has reminded me that daily life is full of moments, opportunities to choose whether to “do” or to “be.” I’ve become more aware of the simple daily choices I make to either stay busy, or to check in with my inner experiences. And also, I’m more sensitive to the pull I feel at home to be productive, the subtle and obvious ways that busy-ness invades our lives. And I’ve committed to make what sometimes feels like a courageous or scary choice to just sit still, doing nothing, even for a couple of minutes.
